The Art of Asking Yourself “Why”?

Most often we do the same thing again and again without asking ourselves “Why are we doing the same thing again every time?”.  Often we commit same mistake every time and we never ask ourselves “Why are we committing the same mistake every time?”.  It is very usual for a common man to repeat or follow without asking any questions. Most of the times we live a life without paying much attention to the surroundings or situations which needs to be questioned. It may be because we are so busy with our daily lives or we are happy with what we have. image

Asking a question “Why” is an art. Because if we ask/frame question in a right format, you will find right answer. Otherwise we will get a wrong one. For example, if we are always late to office because we wake up late in the morning. If we ask ourselves the question why am I not able to wake up early in the morning, you will find a right reason/answer based on which you can change your life style accordingly and you can wake up early. Instead if we ask why should I wake up early just to go office, you will end up with an inappropriate reason/answer or an excuse to wake up late. So, it is very important to learn the art of asking question in a right way.

  • What would have happened if Newton also took apple that fell on his head and eat it instead of asking why it always fell on the earth?
  • What would have happened if Archimedes did not notice why the water would splash out of his tub the moment he stepped into it and just had a bath like everyone?
  • What would have happened great leaders like Gandhi, Martin Luther king, Nelson Mandela did not question the slavery?

Likewise, if all the great scientists, leaders and philosophers in the world would not have questioned themselves “why?” definitely we should not have been in such advanced stage as we are now. They all have asked/framed question in a right way and at a right time and they got the answers on how to proceed. They lived and died like any other human being on this earth. But what made them special is they questioned the pattern or custom or ideology which others have ignored or did not pay attention to it.

 

See with your brain's eye

Imagine you are working in a job which you do not like and you are scared to move out of the job to search another. If you ask the question “Why I am scared to search for new opportunity?”, you might get a right answer. It may be because your skills are weak in some areas or obsolete and you might need to take sometime to brush them or join some course to improve. This will give you positive impact in your life and also improves your approach in solving the problems. If you do not question yourself and continue, you will end up being a jobless because of degradation in your performance at work place due to your hatred feelings for the current job. We should not forget the phrase “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”. Be patient in your current job till you improve your situation according to the direction found from your question and then leave professionally for your benefit.

All human beings are not capable of inventing something new or can think out of box and be different from the rest of the world. All are not capable of doing everything that every other person can do. Everybody have their own limitations. So, if we ask ourselves why something in our life is following a certain pattern (bad situations, wrong thinking), you will definitely get answers. Some answers portray our weak points, some shows the ways to improve or overcome and some proves that we cannot overcome it. But overall we get a sense of direction on how to proceed further rather than making our lives miserable.

If you get an answer from your question that you cannot overcome a particular situation, at least you will prepare to face it. This gives you to accept what you are and helps in not comparing with others. At the end of the day, it is “you” who matters most for “you”. Everything else comes after “you”. Love to question the situations, ideologies, circumstances on your surroundings and in your personal life. This would give you answers and makes you to be distinct and unique among the others. This would make you love yourself of what you are and what you do. Otherwise, you will end up hating the situations and yourself without understanding the problem in a right way and without understanding your limitations.

Human brain is capable of doing wonders if we always give keep it busy with the right questions and tasks. Everyone is unique and gifted with something which any other person on this earth do not have. If we ask right questions, we can utilize the gift in  a proper manner and at the end lead a happy and accomplished life.  So, do not forget to question it if it is something that does not give you happiness or satisfaction and do not afraid to face the answer for your questions if you get a bitter one. Instead, think about the alternatives and find a solution. Life is like an ocean with infinite opportunities if we question and think in a right way. Otherwise, life looks like sitting in a dark room which is locked and no where to go.

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How brotherhood concept helps you at workplace?

Are you having bad relation with your boss? Or with a co-worker? Do you always get frustrated with others at the work place? Then it is time to change the job. Does changing the job helps you get rid of these problems with people? Certainly not? You still get to work with someone else who might give you the same difficult times. So, what is the solution?

Typical Work Place
Work Place

The solution lies in understanding the situation in a better manner and analyze if it is truly a problem that you cannot with stand. If you borrow some concepts from ancient wisdom, you will easily find the answer for your problem. Many religious texts, ancient literature and great leaders always speaks about one word “Brotherhood”. “Brotherhood” has got a very broad meaning. It is a concept that adds new definition to your life. It is not something that makes everyone your own brother. But definitely helps you to get relieved from unwanted problems. And it is not just a something gender specific. You can apply the concept on both men and women if you understand its true meaning.

Here is what it means:

What is your reaction when your own brother promised you that he will come to your place at sometime and he did not make it? Do you get angry? The answer is “Yes”. What is your reaction the next day when he turns up? You may have asked him the reason and there ends the matter. Do you still carry the same feelings through out the week. The answer will be “No”. Now apply the same thing with your co-worker. Imagine he promised something and he did not turn up. Do you react in the same manner that you did for your brother? If “Yes” then you are safe. If not, then you will definitely carry the feelings which you may not express directly and you will end up showing it in the work. This will definitely affect your performance at work place.

What if your brother borrowed some little money from you and he did return you after the promised time? You may have scolded him or shouted at him at that instance. But when he tells you the reason behind the delay, you may forgive him. And you will definitely not carry those feelings the next day. Do you react in the same way if he has been your colleague? If “Yes” then you are still safe. Otherwise, you are developing negative feelings which affects your contribution at the work place if you are working with that person.

Imagine your brother has cheated you in business or did some harm which has created a great loss for you. How would you react in this situation? Definitely, you would take appropriate steps to punish him or pull him into the legal procedures. Here there is no exception you will do the same if it is your colleague or business partner. So, here there is no difference in your reaction with either of the people and whatever you do is most appropriate and recommended.

But if you observe in the above situations you have taken some firm action or carried a negative feeling towards your brother only when his acts are intolerable. Otherwise, you have given him another chance to make the situation good. Definitely you displayed anger but you did not develop any negative feelings. So, wherever it is appropriate take the required action but do not develop any negative feelings on the other person unless if it compelling or unavoidable.

These are only a few situations but you may encounter many in your daily life at work with boss, colleague or your team member. Before developing negative feelings towards him, just react if you have to, but try to analyze if you can forgive him if it is your brother. If so, try to not develop negative feelings towards the person but speak to him so that he understands your feelings. If you cannot speak, just give him another chance.

What if you do develop negative feelings with the other person for every small thing that happens? Here will be the outcome:

  • You may end up speaking ill of that person with others. With this, you will either get sympathy or they may think you are behaving like a child.
  • With your negative feelings, you will definitely end up with poor performance at the work place.
  • Imagine you have already got some problems at home and now this will add extra weight on your brain and your life ends up with miserable time.

What if you think for a while and can apply the brotherhood concept? Here will be the outcome:

  • If you apply brotherhood concept, you will end up helping your team members, colleagues without any developing negative feelings towards them for trivial issues and their small mistakes do not spoil your relation with them. Without your knowledge you may be appreciated for acting wise and your organization will consider you to be a great leader. This may give you more rewards at work.
  • Your compassionate feelings towards them will make them realize their mistakes and they may develop a very high regard on you.
  • More than all, you will not carry your office problems to home and you can easily balance personal and work life.
  • If situation truly becomes unbearable you can definitely take appropriate step but it helps you in speaking positive about your workplace during interviews with other companies. This may give you better opportunities when you join new team or new company as your ex-colleagues will always give good feedback on you.

I am not sure if the brotherhood concept has ever stopped wars between the nations, but definitely can stop the wars at workplace to the maximum extent and will bless you to lead a happy life.