Are you having bad relation with your boss? Or with a co-worker? Do you always get frustrated with others at the work place? Then it is time to change the job. Does changing the job helps you get rid of these problems with people? Certainly not? You still get to work with someone else who might give you the same difficult times. So, what is the solution?
The solution lies in understanding the situation in a better manner and analyze if it is truly a problem that you cannot with stand. If you borrow some concepts from ancient wisdom, you will easily find the answer for your problem. Many religious texts, ancient literature and great leaders always speaks about one word “Brotherhood”. “Brotherhood” has got a very broad meaning. It is a concept that adds new definition to your life. It is not something that makes everyone your own brother. But definitely helps you to get relieved from unwanted problems. And it is not just a something gender specific. You can apply the concept on both men and women if you understand its true meaning.
Here is what it means:
What is your reaction when your own brother promised you that he will come to your place at sometime and he did not make it? Do you get angry? The answer is “Yes”. What is your reaction the next day when he turns up? You may have asked him the reason and there ends the matter. Do you still carry the same feelings through out the week. The answer will be “No”. Now apply the same thing with your co-worker. Imagine he promised something and he did not turn up. Do you react in the same manner that you did for your brother? If “Yes” then you are safe. If not, then you will definitely carry the feelings which you may not express directly and you will end up showing it in the work. This will definitely affect your performance at work place.
What if your brother borrowed some little money from you and he did return you after the promised time? You may have scolded him or shouted at him at that instance. But when he tells you the reason behind the delay, you may forgive him. And you will definitely not carry those feelings the next day. Do you react in the same way if he has been your colleague? If “Yes” then you are still safe. Otherwise, you are developing negative feelings which affects your contribution at the work place if you are working with that person.
Imagine your brother has cheated you in business or did some harm which has created a great loss for you. How would you react in this situation? Definitely, you would take appropriate steps to punish him or pull him into the legal procedures. Here there is no exception you will do the same if it is your colleague or business partner. So, here there is no difference in your reaction with either of the people and whatever you do is most appropriate and recommended.
But if you observe in the above situations you have taken some firm action or carried a negative feeling towards your brother only when his acts are intolerable. Otherwise, you have given him another chance to make the situation good. Definitely you displayed anger but you did not develop any negative feelings. So, wherever it is appropriate take the required action but do not develop any negative feelings on the other person unless if it compelling or unavoidable.
These are only a few situations but you may encounter many in your daily life at work with boss, colleague or your team member. Before developing negative feelings towards him, just react if you have to, but try to analyze if you can forgive him if it is your brother. If so, try to not develop negative feelings towards the person but speak to him so that he understands your feelings. If you cannot speak, just give him another chance.
What if you do develop negative feelings with the other person for every small thing that happens? Here will be the outcome:
- You may end up speaking ill of that person with others. With this, you will either get sympathy or they may think you are behaving like a child.
- With your negative feelings, you will definitely end up with poor performance at the work place.
- Imagine you have already got some problems at home and now this will add extra weight on your brain and your life ends up with miserable time.
What if you think for a while and can apply the brotherhood concept? Here will be the outcome:
- If you apply brotherhood concept, you will end up helping your team members, colleagues without any developing negative feelings towards them for trivial issues and their small mistakes do not spoil your relation with them. Without your knowledge you may be appreciated for acting wise and your organization will consider you to be a great leader. This may give you more rewards at work.
- Your compassionate feelings towards them will make them realize their mistakes and they may develop a very high regard on you.
- More than all, you will not carry your office problems to home and you can easily balance personal and work life.
- If situation truly becomes unbearable you can definitely take appropriate step but it helps you in speaking positive about your workplace during interviews with other companies. This may give you better opportunities when you join new team or new company as your ex-colleagues will always give good feedback on you.
I am not sure if the brotherhood concept has ever stopped wars between the nations, but definitely can stop the wars at workplace to the maximum extent and will bless you to lead a happy life.